Why it's okay to be an introvert and other reasons why I'm awesome
In my last post, I mentioned how I was going on a work trip and thus probably would not blog. Well, that's not true (the not blogging part. I am, most definitely, in Pennsylvania right now). But I need to use this blog to give myself (and other interoverts out there) a prep talk:
It's okay to be who you are.
I get a little annoyed at myself because I don't think, or at least I am not aware, that extroverts ever have to give this prep talk to themselves. From my limited perspective, when it comes to extroverts being extroverts, there seems to be no need to be apologetic. Introverts, on the other hand, constantly have to come up with reasons to justify closing the door and simply being alone.
Sorry. I just need to be by myself right now.
My life as a full force introvert has been full of self prep talks so far and I don't imagine that changing any time soon.
It's Monday, which means I am at the beginning of a week full of meetings with my Donor Relations and Communication colleagues from both Canada and the U.S. It's a pretty long week. It's fun, but long. Last time these (annual) meetings rolled around I did not do a very good job of keeping myself well balanced. The meetings themselves are lengthy but then there are lunch and supper times full of work conversations and then there are the after-meeting gatherings, which generally don't center around work specifically but have often been in very public (and thus loud) settings.
And the thing is, I feel bad about not being social. I may have no desire to be social one particular evening but will guilt myself into going. I have this deep rooted need, for better or for worse, for people to like me. How can you do that without being social? Thus, last year, I spent my evenings not paying attention to my introverted need to be alone and to go to bed way before any one else seems to start thinking about it, but rather out and about with my co-workers.
Then enters Grumpy Anna.
Grumpy Anna is not a very pleasant person to be around. (It's also very awkward to be around co-workers when she arrives since she does not have very much of a filter).
So this year, I decided that I need to be more intentional with my self-care otherwise I might just lose my mind at this year's meetings. This translates in to saying no (which I already did tonight) and to maybe even taking my lunch tray and straight up finding a place to hide so I can eat alone.
And that's okay. It's okay to say no to things. It's okay to make lunch break into an actual break.
It's okay to be an introvert because we are cool people.
I struggle a lot with self-esteem issues. One of the ways I've been working on this is learning how to embrace my personalty, which comes with a healthy does of introvertism. (That's not a word but you get my drift). This is who I am and I like this person, which also means that I like being an introvert.
In fact, I love being an introvert. I love that I can stay home alone for hours without feeling lonely. I love living alone because I can turn up any podcast or Taylor Swift song I want, whenever I want and just be me). I love being an introvert because I get a ton of sleep and it is delicious. I love being an introvert because I like having a handful of really great, meaningful relationships instead of a ton of acquaintances that may or may not be very life-giving.
This is me, folks, and I'm going to bed now. Hopefully, by tomorrow morning, I will be refreshed and ready to enter into the world of people again.