The "in-between"

I am no good at being in the "in-between." I am impatient and OCD. I need things to happen immediately.

They do not.

Come on, people! Why not?

But that's me.

Yesterday, I went to go look at a new rental house, (which, ironically, is just 3 houses down from my current rental situation). All systems are go! (Hooray! And I get to keep my cat. That is the best news).

However, I am still feeling the tension of the in-between. Am I going to be moving out by June 1 or July 1? What I want is to move IMMEDIATELY. My creative brain is already spinning (and pinning) easy, DYI decorating tips and tricks. But I am waiting to hear back from my current landlords on the status of my deposit. The thing is, I need that back before I can move into my new place. (Did I mention that my landlords live in Idaho and take forever to get back to me? Because that's a thing).

Dramatic sigh.

This morning, a few of my co-workers and I popped into Mojo's Coffee Bar to grab a morning pick-me-up. We waited for our drinks in the buzz of college youth dressed in their athletic shorts and tie-dyed shirts (which is a trend that never died in the 90s at Bethel College) milling around, hopped up on summer plans. This sparked a brief conversation about how my co-workers are glad they never have to move in and out of dorms ever again. I am too. (Don't get me wrong here, especially since I went to a college where one lived in the dorms all four years. I am happy to never carry my things to 2nd floor Hirschy ever again). But yet, on some level, I feel as if I have never stopped doing that. I move in and then several months later, I move out. Lather. Rinse.  Repeat.

How many times have I posted in this blog how much I really, really hate moving?

The longest duration I have lived at any particular residence since I moved out of my parents house back in 2005 before heading off to college, is a 1 and 1/2 years. That's it. That's the record to beat. (That was at 417 S Main in Hesston. That time, I left by choice because of my need to live alone).

It's hard for someone like me grasp the reality that no matter how hard I tried to make my life feel stable, that it never is fully going to be. Things change. I am never going to be able to control that.

But for now, I would at least like to live in a space long enough that "spring time" does not correlate with "moving time." Maybe 209 E Knott St will be different.

In the meanwhile, you will find me trying to send vibes to my landlords to text or call me back.