Breakable things

I realized I haven't blogged the entire month of August. Time has a way of sneaking away like that. Honestly, I am not sure why I didn't. It was hot. The garden did nothing except grow weeds (and the occasional cantaloupe). I went to work. I took a lot of instagrams of my cat. Levent and I spent our evenings eating supper and watching Netflix together.

I am not complaining (especially now). I actually love the daily structure of our lives and the beauty that comes with monotony. It is predictable and in many ways, it gives us meaning. But there just was not a whole lot that I felt inspired to commit to (virtual) paper.

So it goes.

There are several moments in life that we always carry with us. For example, I know exactly where I was when I heard about 9-11. (Despite hearing pieces of nonsensical information all morning, I was standing in the marching band practice field, holding my clarinet, my freshman year of high school when I first heard the news). I know exactly where I was standing when I heard about the passing of my grandparents. It is as if these moments startle us so greatly that they become ingrained in our memories.They forever shape out a new reality (and new TSA regulations). Other times they reamin as emotional scares that never fully heal. It only takes a couple of words the fall, like a hammer, and shatter every single structure we try to make for ourselves.

A week ago Thursday, I added another one. I had just pulled off the pork chops from the grill when I noticed Levent's car pull up.When he rounded the corner, the world stopped.

His parents and his younger brother, Blake, where on their way home to Ohio after their visit to Kansas when they got into an accident outside of St Louis. While there have been a lot of small victories, both of his parents are currently still in the ICU, Shirley is recovering from facial reconstruction surgery and Wilbur is still in a medical induced coma, giving him the time and space he needs to make sure his brain injury heals. (Blake walked away from the accident with only a couple of scratches on his arm).

This is a scary, harsh reality of how brutal and breakable life (and we as humans) can be. It's hard to make a lot of sense out of anything right now.

Levent and his brothers have been out here for over a week now. Due to a work trip to Denver (which was awful btw), I was delayed in coming until just yesterday.  It is hard to see loved ones in so much pain (of all kinds). It's hard to know how to hold up and support Levent. I do the best I can (and marvel at his own personal strengthen). It's hard to wait. It's hard to pray.

This sums up my work trip to Denver

It is in these dark, messy moments where it feels as if the only thing that truly binds the human race together is of our pieces of collective tragedies. Yet, as a breakable human myself, I am trying to focus on the small moments, count the tiny victories, find hope in the moments of strength and bravery and to believe that love is ultimately greater than tragedy, no matter what happens in the end.

Abstract words and concepts aside, it's going to be a long couple of weeks for the Miller clan. We appreciate all the prayers, thoughts, and good vibes you can send Wilbur and Shirley's way.

Lunch break today on the St. Louis University's  School of Medicine campus