Adventures of an indoor cat

October 01, 2017

Adventures of an indoor cat

Hello October. I am so very glad you're here. I even had my windows open almost all day yesterday. (Although I had to close this this afternoon because my allergies are making my throat so dry. Oh well. Little victories).

Actually, despite whatever the weather is doing outside, I continue to remain inside (minus the occasional walk). Really, I am more of an indoor cat anyway, especially now I know the wide range of things I am allergy to in the natural world. I am living that indoor cat lifestyle with my indoor cat.

As an introvert, I have to be careful that I don't completely isolate myself from the world. Even though I don't really want to talk to a ton of people, I still want some community. This weekend hasn't been great. Sometimes it feels as if I carry sadness around with me and that especially becomes obvious to me on the weekends when any form of daily structure takes a break. Really, I think that sadness is actually loneliness. (And I did try to make 3 different plans with 3 different friends but all of that fell through. What can you do). I miss my family, especially my sister. I kind even wish that I had roommates again. (Well, actually I wish Levent was my roommate). It really bums me out.

You know how some people have "emotional support animals?" Sometimes I think I need an "emotional support extrovert human." Sometimes when I am in my most introverted hermit phase, I could use some of that outward energy to boost my spirits and snap me out of this never ending emotional exhaustion. (Then I could also take this friend on airplanes too, which would help my travel anxiety too. So win-win).

I know I will be fine and that I am fine. Sometimes I just feel a little out of balance.

Here's what my introverted self has been doing been doing to fight off that existential emotional darkness this weekend.

1. Outside moments. Okay, this indoor cat does go outside. Now that it's sort of cooling off, I've been going on walks for my "cardio" option. The monarch butterflies have been migrating through south central Kansas now. So that's been fun to see. Moreover, I also finally got around to "winterizing" my garden (aka just pulling up things and putting my tomato cages away). (Quick sidebar: I might be done with gardening. Have we talked about this yet? My landlord sprayed round up all around the edge of my garden and a fun fact about some kinds of roundup is that if it's over 80 degrees outside, there will be chemical drift. And guess what, it is over 80 degrees in Kansas for like 5 solid months. So my landlord killed my entire garden. I think I need to change the name of my blog. I am not returning to this land, that's for sure. It's too hard).

2.Baking, you know how I do. Recently I've made focaccia, caramel brownies (that were so goopy, but I was proud of them anyway because I successfully made my own caramel for that recipe), corn muffins and pumpkin "scones." These pumpkin scones are at Joy the Baker recipe that basically allows you to eat cake/cookie hybrids for breakfast. No shame.

and speaking of sugary treats, I have been working hard mentally to stop constantly body shaming myself. I have gained some weight. But I do make an effort to eat healthy food (even if the series of photos above might not convince you of this) and I do yoga like every damn day. I am fine with how I look. (Hopefully I can keep this mental game up when I go get a physical on Wednesday). Be strong, Anna.

3. Coffee shop bliss: Since I am a SINK (single income, no kids), I've decided that I am completely fine going to coffee shops way more than my budget spreadsheet thinks I should. Coffee shops bring me a lot of joy. So when I am feeling down especially, I am not going to stop myself from going.