Social distancing, vol 1
Hello from our social distancing space in Kansas. Today marks the start of week four.
I haven't been journaling or blogging at all about the corona virus (until this moment of our course) because I know it would've taken too much emotional energy. But now that we are reaching almost a month worth of social distancing, it feels semi-easier to stay in that headspace long enough to record some thoughts and feelings. It's not normal by any means. But life it finding its pace, even if it's weird, emotionally complex and in isolation. But it's a pace nevertheless.
Week 1:
MCC was the first to make the social distancing shift in my life. That announcement came near the end of the Day on Friday March 13. Until that point, I was trying my hardest to stay off Twitter and not go into a panicked anxiety about going to Japan (which I already knew in my heart would not happen despite the fact that we hadn't officially pulled the plug yet on that trip). Starting on the following Monday, all MCC offices were closed to the public and those who could work from home were require to do so. Thankfully, my job is based on where I can get wifi, not physical location. So, in theory, working from home bad. (I say in theory because it is still hard. It's hard to focus and find motivation in the midst of this global pandemic. But I am doing the best that I can day by day).
Honestly, week one was the shits. That Sunday (March 15) we officially made the decision to not go to Japan as we sat on the kitchen floor (me balling my eyes out). In a way, the decision was made for us because Levent would've had to self quarantine (for real) after we would've gotten back and he couldn't do that to his shop due to his management position. Also, the sight seeing we were hoping to do in Japan would've been difficult, not to the mention the fact that I would've been an anxious mess the whole time. Letting go of dreams and hopes is very hard. Thankfully we were able to get our money back. And since we are all in this together, if feels less sucky than if our trip would've been cancelled due to personal reason. Plus, I am hopeful that we will be able to go there someday. Maybe in the Fall or next Spring depending on how things shake out.
Work was nuts the first week too. Since I run MCC's social media account, I am on the "front lines" of how constituents can interact with MCC now. A number of my colleagues kept sending me their ideas of how we can engage people in this new reality wrapped up in their own personal anxiety energy that I could feel via chat, zoom and email. That week I also almost had a panic attack in the grocery store's baking aisle. So fun.
I survived that week thanks to the support of my friends who also happen to be my colleagues (and ones who were not sending me their anxiety-filled ideas) and taking walks by the creek during my breaks. With spring slowing introducing itself back into our lives, this has been a gift.
Week 2
Thankfully, week 2 was somewhat better. Work has simmered down and I made sure to incorporate some better boundaries, including taking breaks and ending my day at 4pm. Levent took the day off that Monday (March 23) so we had a drive through lunch date.
He also helped me get my standing desk from the office so I could set it up at home. Having my big screen and the option to stand (that isn't using my bookshelf) has been really helpful with my ability to focus. (I am such a spacial-aware person when I am trying to focus).
Since Kansas had yet to introduce the "Shelter in Place" ordinance, my colleague friends Kate and Carlos were still working in the office. One late afternoon, I walked up to the office just to say hello. (Well, and to print something).
Herbs...
and new bushes out front.
Being able to do a little bit of gardening has been very therapeutic. Well, at least it gets me out of the house.
Week two also included painting and stress baking of course.
I've been doing my best to support small businesses during this weird time too. I never really needed an excuse to go to Mojo's coffee shop but I will take it.
I went back to the grocery store and did not have a panic attack, but was so emotionally grateful and surprised at the fully stocked produce section.
Week 3:
Our Shelter in Place order finally came at midnight on March 30 in the state of Kansas (thanks to the fact that we have a Democratic Governor. (The republicans in the state senate were trying to get that shelter in place order cancelled all the way up until it started. I do not understand how this is a party issue).
My biggest quarantine regret so far is that I did not go to the library before the closed to check out the max amount of books. I only had two library books when things started to shut down. I have no idea what I was thinking. Levent's BFF Jason send me all these discarded library books during week three. It was such a delightful surprise and such a nice gift.
I have been using some of the massive quantity of sick time I have accured during my time at MCC and have started taking mental health days once a week. It has been lovely. This past Friday was another mental health day. I also use that time to go grocery shopping during a non-peak time. I have never meal planned so hard in my life. The hope is that we won't have to go for 2-3 weeks. As I was pushing around this massive cart, I kept thinking, "this is what it must be to have kids." I've never bought so many groceries all at once.
Week 4, here we come.
Now that I've increased my anxiety medication and have been living in this new reality for a little bit, I am hoping to do more blogging on a weekly basis. Feeling my own feelings is so important and I often try to ignore them (since I am so empathetic I feel things so deeply). But there is nothing like a global pandemic to finally give myself the space (and the lack of distractions) to truly dig into them. But we'll see. We're all just trying to do what we can.
I saw a tweet earlier this week that said something along the lines of "You're not working from home. You are home during a crisis trying to work." That has given me a lot of clarity this week as well as permission to have a lot of grace with myself. I hope it encourages you too.
Chin up, friends. We'll get through this one way or another.
I haven't been journaling or blogging at all about the corona virus (until this moment of our course) because I know it would've taken too much emotional energy. But now that we are reaching almost a month worth of social distancing, it feels semi-easier to stay in that headspace long enough to record some thoughts and feelings. It's not normal by any means. But life it finding its pace, even if it's weird, emotionally complex and in isolation. But it's a pace nevertheless.
Week 1:
MCC was the first to make the social distancing shift in my life. That announcement came near the end of the Day on Friday March 13. Until that point, I was trying my hardest to stay off Twitter and not go into a panicked anxiety about going to Japan (which I already knew in my heart would not happen despite the fact that we hadn't officially pulled the plug yet on that trip). Starting on the following Monday, all MCC offices were closed to the public and those who could work from home were require to do so. Thankfully, my job is based on where I can get wifi, not physical location. So, in theory, working from home bad. (I say in theory because it is still hard. It's hard to focus and find motivation in the midst of this global pandemic. But I am doing the best that I can day by day).
Honestly, week one was the shits. That Sunday (March 15) we officially made the decision to not go to Japan as we sat on the kitchen floor (me balling my eyes out). In a way, the decision was made for us because Levent would've had to self quarantine (for real) after we would've gotten back and he couldn't do that to his shop due to his management position. Also, the sight seeing we were hoping to do in Japan would've been difficult, not to the mention the fact that I would've been an anxious mess the whole time. Letting go of dreams and hopes is very hard. Thankfully we were able to get our money back. And since we are all in this together, if feels less sucky than if our trip would've been cancelled due to personal reason. Plus, I am hopeful that we will be able to go there someday. Maybe in the Fall or next Spring depending on how things shake out.
Work was nuts the first week too. Since I run MCC's social media account, I am on the "front lines" of how constituents can interact with MCC now. A number of my colleagues kept sending me their ideas of how we can engage people in this new reality wrapped up in their own personal anxiety energy that I could feel via chat, zoom and email. That week I also almost had a panic attack in the grocery store's baking aisle. So fun.
 |
| This is my new coworker. She will probably get fired soon because all she does is nap. |
Week 2
Thankfully, week 2 was somewhat better. Work has simmered down and I made sure to incorporate some better boundaries, including taking breaks and ending my day at 4pm. Levent took the day off that Monday (March 23) so we had a drive through lunch date.
 |
| He found this Christmas carnage in the car and did this. I am so grateful for his weirdo humor |
 |
| Excuse the typo. I clearly meant home office |
Since Kansas had yet to introduce the "Shelter in Place" ordinance, my colleague friends Kate and Carlos were still working in the office. One late afternoon, I walked up to the office just to say hello. (Well, and to print something).
Thanks to the internet, I got garden supplies this week and planted some spring spinach....
Being able to do a little bit of gardening has been very therapeutic. Well, at least it gets me out of the house.
Week two also included painting and stress baking of course.
 |
| The internet has been making a lot of whipped coffee. So I tried it out too and I am hooked. |
I made homemade brownies with this sipping chocolate powder from Trader Joe's instead of cocoa powder and it is a game changer. Turns out, the reason why every brownie recipe sucks is because finding Dutch processed cocoa power (which a lot of brownie recipes call for) is pretty much impossible around here.
I went back to the grocery store and did not have a panic attack, but was so emotionally grateful and surprised at the fully stocked produce section.
Week 3:
Our Shelter in Place order finally came at midnight on March 30 in the state of Kansas (thanks to the fact that we have a Democratic Governor. (The republicans in the state senate were trying to get that shelter in place order cancelled all the way up until it started. I do not understand how this is a party issue).
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| Working from home boredom |
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| Meeting cats on walks is the dream |
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| My hostas are coming up! |
Now that I've increased my anxiety medication and have been living in this new reality for a little bit, I am hoping to do more blogging on a weekly basis. Feeling my own feelings is so important and I often try to ignore them (since I am so empathetic I feel things so deeply). But there is nothing like a global pandemic to finally give myself the space (and the lack of distractions) to truly dig into them. But we'll see. We're all just trying to do what we can.
I saw a tweet earlier this week that said something along the lines of "You're not working from home. You are home during a crisis trying to work." That has given me a lot of clarity this week as well as permission to have a lot of grace with myself. I hope it encourages you too.
Chin up, friends. We'll get through this one way or another.
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