Grateful November

Name 5 things around you:

Trees waving in the wind, my computer screen, the institutional brown and maroon carpet at my doctor's office (I am writing this while I wait for my monthly allergy injection), the James Earl Jones-like voiceover on the medical tv loop, the elderly lady walking out the door saying "my bones are giving up." (Same girl, same).

This is an example of a grounding exercise that, ironically, I learned about in multiple novels I read/listened to this year. Actually, it's a condensed version of the real thing. I find this version more practical in real life since I don't have to remember all the steps.

I am starting off this blog post this way because I have a hard time staying in the moment. Like an extremely hard time. Thanks in part to the pandemic, this has gotten even worse lately. Usually, my lack of "staying in the moment" tends to push my thoughts towards the future - plans, hopes, dreams, fears. But lately, I've stopped doing this unconsciously. Now, since I still refuse to be present, my brain is jumping backwards into the past, digging up all kinds of things from my subconscious. It's not the best. I have spent a lot of time feeling homesick for people and a place that does not exist anymore (at least not in the way that I knew them/it). So not only am I not being fully present, I am not even fully present in the current year. (Yeah, I know. There are layers to unpack here). 

Name 4 things you are grateful for:

Cooler weather, Christmas vacation around the corner (only 7 more working days!), swimming laps at the Y, the fact that Levent and I found each other all those years ago.

I also (sometimes) practicing gratitude to keep me in the present, not always the literal moment, but this current chapter of my life in Kansas. I've heard lots of tips about how practicing gratitude is really good for one's mental health. Do I do it, not really/sometimes. I should do it more because it pulls me back to my current reality, a reality that I do actually love (even if I would rather not be in Kansas anymore).

This brings me to the point of this blog post (or what I had intended to write about when I opened this tab): Thanksgiving and gratitude. Actually, I was just planning on giving a wide overview about happenings in November. But let's approach it from being thankful and being in the "present" (I mean not literally, but 2021 for sure). 

So here are 4 things I was grateful for in November: 

Visiting the Bakers: Early in November, I headed to VA for a weekend with my sister and her family. Since my sister and I both struggle with mental health challenges and because Leah is an educator (and goes into what I call the "tunnel of teaching" every semester), we have not been able to connect as much as I wish we were. So I literally booked a ticket out there just physically insert myself into their lives for a few moments. 

It was a delightful weekend. We drank a lot of coffee (a must for me when I travel anywhere. And I got to drink it out of a real mug again, something that hasn't happened since the before times), had great food, chilled a bunch and watched Harry Potter and went to an apple orchard where we picked apples and tasted ciders. It was very #fall, but in the best possible way. 

Zehrsgiving: Occasionally (even in the before times) my cousin and her husband would come over for a meal we started calling "Zehrsgiving" (Zehr is our family name - her paternal side, my maternal side). It hasn't been consistent every year, but when we have it, it's so fun. It's essentially just a smaller version of Friendsgiving. This year, we decided to have a theme of "Indian food," and it was maybe the best food we've ever had at one of these things. I am so incredibly grateful I live in the same town as my cousin Heidi.

Couchgiving: Even in the "before times," Levent and I have a small Thanksgiving day together. Since the holiday is too close to Christmas (when we usually go on a long trip to visit both sides of the family), we just stay home. Last year during the pandemic I started calling it couchgiving since we, obviously, eat Thanksgiving dinner while on the couch (often times watching a movie). This year was another round of couchgiving and honestly I kind of love it. It's a very chill day. I tend to cook a variety of things depending on the year, but usually nothing too intense. (This year, I saved my creativity for Zehrsgiving). 

Thanksgiving weekend is also the weekend I usually start decorating for Christmas, which I surprisingly found that I like a lot. (Thanks to going all out for it during our Covid Christmas last year). On Saturday, I did the small business thing and ended up at one of my favorite antique stores in Wichita. Hunting for vintage Christmas things is also a top seasonal activity for me now.

Autumnal glory: We had a stunning few weeks of autumn this year. There was one week right after the time change when my morning walks with Tito were so beautiful! The early morning light would catch the light just right and the trees looked like they were glowing. It was magical.